In a post on Writers in the Storm, Lynette Burrows continues her series on writing irresistible character relationships, this time examining what makes the relationships you create between your characters believably real to your readers.
- Commonality. Relationships generally begin when two characters have something in common. Romantically, this might mean mutual attraction, shared goals, or common interests. However, family members have something in common – family – even when they don’t like each other. Relationships with neighbors are built on proximity, and those with bosses and co-workers on a common employer. “The stronger or more bonded the relationship, the more things they share in common,” Burrows writes. “For each significant relationship you show on the pages of your story, know what that commonality is and what it means to each character.” The commonality may mean something different to each character, which can make the dynamic more interesting and create conflict.
- The Glue Between Them. Commonality brings people together, but glue keeps them there. “If the relationship you’ve created is a long-erm or a forever-more relationship, there needs to be a sense of what keeps the parties bonded,” Burrows writes. This could be family connections, psychological or physical needs, the length of the relationship, shared history, and routines and rituals.
- Meaningful Differences. No two characters should be too much alike, even those in a relationship. “Let the differences between your individuals complement or challenge the relationship in ways that reflect the theme or are integral to the plot,” Burrows recommends. “You can express their differences in many ways, including in their strengths and weaknesses, their personalities, their skills, the way they resolve conflicts or approach new experiences or idea and their typical way of reacting to people and events.”
- Give Them a History. Your characters should have their shared relationship history, but also the history of how they met, things they did together, and perhaps even time they spent apart. Use inside jokes, minor disagreements, familiar behaviors, and nonverbal communication to convey this. Removing those elements can also signal the relationship is in trouble.
- How the Relationship has Changed. Every relationship changes over time, even happy ones. Give your characters a meaningful scene to show how they’ve grown, introduce complications and disagreements, and let them spend time apart. “Use uncertainty and longing, internal conflict, and/or external obstacles to heighten the stakes, add complexity to their understanding of the relationship, and test their commitment and resilience,” Burrows writes.
- Make the Relationship Matter. If the relationship doesn’t matter to your characters, it won’t matter to your readers. Use the relationship to meet or thwart what each character needs. Let the relationship itself create challenges.
- Create a Relationship Arc. The relationship should have an arc that runs alongside your characters’ stories. Will the connection be stronger at the end or ruptured? Will it be strengthened, changed, or both?
