In a post on Writer Unboxed, Dave King offers advice for knowing how much is enough when portraying your characters’ inner lives. “When do your characters come across as flat or mystifying because your readers have no idea what’s going on inside them?” King asks. “When are you indulging in so much self-reflection that you’re motivating your characters right into the ground? How do you tell the difference?”
One element to consider is what your story is about and what conflict must be resolved. “If you’re going for straightforward action, something that resolves because of things your characters do, then you don’t have to pay quite as much attention to what’s going on inside their heads,” King says. “In fact, too much internal life can cost you momentum at key moments.”
In contrast, if your resolution requires your characters to change how they feel, you have to get inside their heads. “Your readers need to see your characters reacting to events, to think their thoughts with them, to feel their feelings,” King explains. “Your characters need an inner life.”
But how do you achieve that balance?
“First, make sure your characters’ inner life doesn’t distract from the action,” King says. Even though your characters experience thoughts instantaneously, writing them out and reading them can make a tense scene drag. Save the internal monologue for the scene sequel.
Also, interiority depends on the nature of your character. Some characters analyze and over-think and others will not. “And the reflection should be part of their lives throughout the whole story,” King adds. “When they only get reflective when you need to reveal some information, readers are going to notice.” Of course, your writing has to be interesting.
