It can be hard finding a writers group that fits your goals, personality, and skill level. There are many online and in-person groups, and finding a great one can be a matter of trial and error. If you find yourself in the wrong group, it’s usually easy to duck out. However, if you actually like the other members, even if they don’t fit your creative needs, you might feel stuck. In a guest post on Jane Friedman’s blog, Lisa Cooper Ellison offers advice on how to bow out gracefully.
“A wise woman once told me some relationships are for a season, some for a reason, but only a few are for a lifetime,” Cooper writes. “Most writing-group relationships fall in the season or reason category. That means leaving is a normal and healthy part of the workshop cycle.” If you’re ready to leave, here’s how:
- Think about why you want to leave. Have you outgrown your group? Are you writing in a different genre than the rest of the group? Do you need more thorough critiques than your group can provide? “Remind yourself that leaving something that doesn’t serve you is both normal and healthy,” Cooper says.
- Consider your other options. Find a new group before dropping out of your old one, so that you can better communicate the reasons why. If you don’t find another option, consider talking to your current group about what’s missing for you.
- Drop the bomb nicely. “Set a positive tone and communicate using ‘I’ statements,” Cooper recommends. “Maintain a focus on your needs and how this is good for everyone.”
- Prepare for your group’s disappointment.
- Don’t let your group guilt you into staying.
- Suggest other writers who might be a good fit.
