In a new post, Kristen Lamb tackles the writerly habit of self-sabotage. “We just about get in the habit of working on the WIP (work in progress), and then suddenly we put everyone and everything ahead of finishing that book,” she explains. “Cleaning the house, organizing the closets, alphabetizing the pets…”
Lamb references the self-help book Atomic Habits, in which writer James Clear says that our identities are reinforced by evidence of our habits. In other words, our identification as the person we want to be is stronger when we see that person in action. “When I declutter daily, I see my surroundings are neat and tidy. Therefore, eventually I identify as an organized person,” Lamb explains.
As writers, our self-sabotage often has an external source. No matter how many goals you hit or how many stories you publish, someone will come along to remind you that you’re no Stephen King. As a result, we end up worrying about how to become a “real writer” instead of actually writing. “What can happen is we’ll keep moving the goal post of what makes us a ‘real writer,'” Lamb says. “Eventually, we’ll give up because we set that standard SO high we crumble under the pressure.”
The fact is, writers at every stage face imposter syndrome. Even writers who hit the bestseller lists are considered “failures” if they don’t continually top their previous success. In reality, the only thing a “real” writer does is write, but we have a hard time convincing our productivity culture of this.
Within all this, it can be hard to believe that we deserve it, whatever “it” is: time to write, a pat on the back, a bit of success. “Many of us have a lot of bad programming we need to overcome,” Lamb says. “How many writers don’t write because their writing doesn’t make money, but their writing isn’t making money because they aren’t writing? We unwittingly self-sabotage and that self-sabotage just exacerbates the feedback loop from hell.”
We should all – us and Lamb included – stop doing this. “We all deserve our dreams,” Lamb says. “If your dream is to be a writer, then YES, that will demand a lot of work. What being a writer does NOT entail is you being a good little you and doing all your chores and ‘real’ work before you’re allowed to go write.”
You have permission. Go write.
