In a post on Killzone, writer and writing coach James Scott Bell says writers should be wary of “gilding the lily” – over-explaining or over-detailing their work with extraneous words. “It means to dress up what is already beautiful, to add a layer that is not only unnecessary, but actually dilutes the intended effect,” Bell explains.
To illustrate his point, Bell critiques the first page of a reader submission with examples of unnecessary verbiage. He suggests a number of the writer’s phrases could be edited for clarity, including:
- “A shard of a broken concrete paver” – If the concrete is broken, it’s in shards. A “shard of concrete paver” would have been more succinct.
- “Shop front window” – Shop windows are in the front of the building, so this phrasing is redundant.
- “Rain water” – We know that rain is water.
- “Mere idle curiosity.” – By definition, idle curiosity is mere.
There are more examples. Have these kinds of extraneous or redundant phrases crept into your writing? Are you trying to trim a word count to meet a publication’s requirements? Look for these kinds of phrases, and start rewriting.
