In a follow-up to her post on narcissists and gaslighting, Kristen Lamb examines the kind of characters who might fall prey to this kind of villain. “When reading how insidious gaslighting can be, it’s easy to think that this is something rare that only happens to ‘other people,'” Lamb says. “Sadly, this is far from the case.”
The reason is human weakness, “a highly malleable term that can range from simply a kind and trusting nature to a deep psychological wound,” Lamb says. “Each weakness is like a hole where an abuser/predator can get a stronger hold to climb even deeper into the psyche of their target.”
When humans are stressed, we find it difficult to think clearly or make logical, long-term decisions. We’re living in the moment. “This is why predators (abusers, toxic people, con artists, cult leaders, etc.) constantly start drama,” Lamb explains. “They don’t want their ‘target’ to ever calm down long enough to be able to very literally ‘see’ how insane their decisions really are.” Narcissists use gaslighting to create this instability, acting loving one moment and cold the next.
In her last post, Lamb noted that narcissists aren’t always evil. They might be well-intentioned but clueless or immature. Depending on your genre and style, your narcissist can run the gamut from amusing to terrifying. That also applies to the narcissist’s target.
In a romance, the narcissist might be a sibling who can’t see how her behavior affects others (ed. note – Kristen Wiig and Rose Byrne in Bridesmaids come to mind, each coming from different angles) and their victim a brother or sister. In darker fiction, the target will change.
“One thing to keep in mind is the audience must sympathize/empathize with our MC,” Lamb says. You can’t make them too easily fooled or the audience will tune out. “When we profile what the MC is missing, then we can profile which narcissist is likely to be a match.”
People experiencing trauma are ripe targets for a narcissist, such as someone who has lost a spouse or recently lived through a natural disaster. “The irony is that the worst time to make major decisions is often when we, in our humanness, are more likely to make decisions,” Lamb says. “We’ll sell the house, invest all our savings in a shady scam sure thing, quit the job, start dating/spontaneously move in with or marry the person that, before the trauma, we possibly wouldn’t have even gone near.”
For your story, the more “normal” your protagonist, the more your readers will relate. Can you reader imagine themselves in your hero’s place? Then you’ve got them, Lamb says. The exact qualities depend on what your narcissist is looking for. Someone who chisels elderly couples is looking for a very different kind of victim than a romantic con man.
The key is that your protagonist has something the narcissist wants. It doesn’t matter if you create the villain or victim first, but you should have a good understanding of the nexus between them, as this is what brings them together and creates your core story problem.
