In a recent post, September Fawkes examines head hopping and how to avoid it. “Head hopping happens when the writer jumps from one character’s head to another’s within a passage; it’s a switch in viewpoint that is typically considered an error,” she says. “This is different from a writer changing viewpoint characters at a scene or chapter break, which is considered acceptable.”
Head hopping occurs when a narrator witnesses or describes something she couldn’t possibly see. For example, if your hero’s best friend is across the room, your hero won’t know who just texted her, unless something announces it. You may also jump from one character’s thoughts to another’s without a break, creating dueling POVs. The effect is jarring on the reader, who may not be sure which character is the most important in a scene.
It’s easy to slip into head hopping in third person POV. “Newer writers often assume that because the story is in third person, not first person, the narrator can jump from one viewpoint character to another at any given moment,” Fawkes writes. However, this depends on the type of third person. With close third-person or deep POV, jumping from one character’s thoughts to another’s is bad form. Even with multiple viewpoint characters, you should jump from one to another without a scene break. In contrast, omniscient third person gives you more leeway to jump among characters, but you still should use caution. “Most everyone agrees that omniscient point of view is the most difficult to pull off when it comes to writing a satisfying story,” Fawkes notes.
If you struggle with head hopping, review your scenes and identify anything that your narrator or POV character could not directly experience. Rewrite or cut those sections. If your POV character needs information from someone else’s head, use dialogue, body language, or action to convey it. “Your viewpoint character can’t definitively know what another is thinking, but she can make assumptions (that may or may not be accurate),” Fawkes writes.
If you want to break this rule, be sure you are doing so intentionally and that the trick doesn’t weaken the story. Make sure it’s the right choice and ensure that you don’t disorient the reader. If you hop within a scene, start with a new paragraph to signal the reader that something new is coming. You may consider adding narrative between the interiority, to serve as a transition.
