Writers are always told to “show, don’t tell” but what is it and how can you find it in your writing? In a post on Writers Helping Writers, Suzy Vadori share seven ways you can find telling.
“I’ve discovered that it’s almost impossible to see Telling in your own writing just by reading,” she says. “The story you’re sharing is alive in your mind, playing like a movie, with every detail available to your brain, from the pink sky your characters stand under in your scene, to the low hum of traffic in the distance.” Unfortunately, that movie is often filling in details that aren’t on the page, meaning you don’t see what’s missing.
Vadori developed a checklist to help herself identify places that need more Showing:
- Named Emotions. “Don’t tell readers your character feels murderous, Show us their narrowed eyes and shaking body,” Vadori says. Search your document for words like happy, sad, frustrated, and surprised, and replace them with details.
- Using “-ly” Adverbs. Do the same with -ly adverbs.
- Info Dumping. Look for text-heavy areas without white space or dialogue to find potential info dumps.
- Recapping Events that Happened Off-Screen. “If your characters are sitting around in a scene Telling each other about blood they spilled in an epic battle, bring your reader to the battle instead, so they can hear the screams and feel the wind that blows through your character’s hair, first hand,” Vadori writes.
- Showing Many vs. One. Focus on specifics, rather than generalities. “Rather than saying your character often went fishing, Show us a specific fishing trip, where the character’s boat sprang a leak and they had to swim to shore,” Vadori explains. “Instead of writing that the crowd surged forward, show us the boy who darted in front of the surging crowd, getting trampled by their feet.”
- Being Vague vs. Specific. Find and replace vague words like something, things, stuff, or objects.
- Saying What Isn’t in the Scene. Instead of describing what your character doesn’t see, show them a few details about whats’ there, particularly if there’s something obscuring their view.
