In an article for Writer’s Digest, Jessica Martin offers advice for writing a sex scene without worrying who might see it. Every writer worries that their friends or family members will think poorly of them if they write a hot sex scene. Worse, we could be embarrassed by writing a terrible one. Martin sums up her strategy with one word: Distance.
- Physical. It helps if you can write your sex scene in a place where no one is literally looking over your shoulder.
- Mental. Don’t think about your spouse, kids, friends, or family when you write your sex scenes. That might sound like a no-brainer, because gross, but it can be difficult to write past the fear of judgment or ridicule.
- Personal. Martin expressly does not draw on personal experience to write sex scenes. “Call me a prude, but I like to have a bit of an air of mystery about me,” she writes. Instead, she watches clips of on-scene couples preparing for the deed. “For me it’s less about what the characters are actually doing and more about that delicious moment of mutual (and completely consensual) commitment to the path of no return, no going back to being friends or enemies or indifferent strangers—it’s on,” Martin says. Once she’s feeling inspired, she begins to imagine her characters in their situation – how they look, speak, and act, as well as the general mood.
