In a guest post on Jane Friedman’s blog, Grace Bialecki offers advice for accepting feedback gracefully and taking time to absorb it. “As writers, we know that critiques are an integral part of improving our work. But we rarely learn how to receive feedback or what to do after,” she says. Bialecki shares some lessons she’s learned:
- Listen receptively. If you’re not ready to hear criticism, you’re not ready to ask for a critique. Celebrate having finished something and be open to learning can be improved. Check for signs that you’re becoming agitated: sweaty hands, faster heart beat. Take a few deeps breaths and remind yourself that a critique of your writing is not a critique of you as a person. Take notes.
- Reflect & distill. “Receiving feedback is inherently disquieting, so take time before diving into revisions,” Bialecki advises. That might be a few minutes, a day, or a week, depending on how ready you feel. Bialecki suggests taking some time to journal about your project and what you hope to accomplish with it. Then review your critiques and decide which are useful. Remember: not all advice will be helpful to your goals. Consider which feedback feels motivating. That’s a good sign it rings true for you. Ignore criticism that’s vague, focused on personal preference, or downright mean.
- Avoid being your own worst critic. “Perfectionism is a dead end,” Bialecki says.”Be gentle. Focus on finishing the project and how you’re going to get there.” Don’t over-edit early drafts. Focus on getting words down and completing a project. Remember, your work is not your worth.
- Learn to move forward. Even if you get a harsh critique, promise to move forward with your project. If you’re upset, take a few days off or work on a different project, but do come back and view your manuscript with fresh eyes, considering what you’ve learned.
