As writers, we’re told that we should strive to “immerse” our reader into the story, to get them so caught up that they feel they’re a part of the story world. But that’s easier said than done. What creates an immersive experience? In a post on Writers Helping Writers, Marissa Graff has three suggestions.
First, check for filter words: look, smell, hear, taste, feel, think (see, listen, notice, thought…) These words remind the reader that a separate entity – your character – is acting. Instead, use specific detail to describe what is being seen, thought, or felt. The reader will know the character has experienced these things, because the story is told through their POV.
Second, Graff suggests eliminating “time” words: then, next, after, finally, and when. “Time words are often implied because sentences are linearly structured,” Graff explains. “They add unnecessary clunk and they subtly send the message the narrator is telling the reader what happened and in what order.”
Finally, she suggests minimizing internal dialogue. You don’t have to eliminate it, but find places where you can convey the same information in action or dialogue. Be careful when using inner dialogue during dramatic scenes, as it can take away from the tension. You should also keep internal dialogue brief. “Within an active scene, it’s as though the author hits the pause button on all action and dialogue to allow for the internal dialogue,” Graff says. “The pause is unnaturally long given the fact that it sits inside an active scene, and can oftentimes be done in a far shorter way or be done using dialogue and action on the page instead.”
