In a post on Writers in the Storm, Angela Ackerman says a character’s hidden experiences can help your readers relate. “Often writers focus on likeability, giving a character admirable traits, a passion, or noble mission that the reader can get behind,” she writes. “But the secret sauce is something more subtle yet nuanced: emotional common ground.”
Even people who are very different from your protagonist have experienced moments when they didn’t know what to do, regretted a choice, wanted to quit, learned something too late, or pretended to be ok. “When we feel exposed, it’s human nature to keep those feelings to ourselves. As a result, they often become hidden experiences,” Ackerman writes. “Hidden experiences are interesting because while we can feel utterly alone when they happen, if we realize someone else is going through the same thing, our first response is to feel empathy and possibly a desire to help.” In fiction, these moments help the reader form a connection with your character.
How can you insert these moments? Ackerman suggests:
- Moral Dilemmas. “Navigating conflicting morals or values is never simple or easy,” she writes. This creates a perfect opportunity for some interiority and reader connection. “A solution is never perfect, either, meaning a consequence or cost, which is also relatable.”
- Relationship Friction. “Characters experiencing difficulties in a relationship—a partner constantly putting work first, parents who love conditionally, a daughter who is growing more and more distant—pull on a reader’s heartstrings,” Ackerman notes. “It’s easy to relate to the desire to erase tension, a gnawing sense of unfairness, or how it feels to have a relationship-based need going unmet.”
- Temptation. Temptation makes a tough choice or moral dilemma even more difficult. Your character may be tempted to take the easy way out, dump a problem on someone else, lie, or give in to a bad habit. “Everyone has felt the pull to justify their actions even knowing they are wrong,” Ackerman says. “They also very likely have experienced the cost of giving in to temptation, so while they will root for a character to resist, they will be somewhat sympathetic if it goes the other way, too.”
The experiences you choose should connect to your story. “For hidden experiences to juice your story with meaning, think about where the plot needs to go, the lessons your character needs to learn, and what common internal suffering will be the perfect fit to make the character’s situation more relatable and poignant to readers,” Ackerman writes.
