In a new post, Kristen Lamb examines how shame, regret, and guilt shape story. “Guilt is a tricky bugger, even in real life,” she says. “What is guilt? Why does it have so much power? How can we use guilt in story and why would we?”
Of course, normal people have flaws and emotions. We make mistakes, particularly when emotions run high or when we’re not at our physical best. And then we feel bad about it after. “Guilt can drive people mad,” Lamb notes. “The acute emotions guilt elicits are among the reasons so many criminals get caught. It’s also why people having affairs, or embezzling, or committing some kind of serial ‘offense’ can get sloppy. They WANT to be caught because they cannot go on without a reckoning.”
There’s also false guilt and shame. False shame is when we needlessly take on the shame and guilt for others,” Lamb writes. “False shame is particularly insidious…because we cannot repent for something we didn’t DO.” Victims of violence, crime, or abuse often blame themselves for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, not fighting enough, or being tricked. “One of the reasons so many victims remain silent is because of shame,” Lamb says. “A better human being wouldn’t have been damaged, fooled, grifted.” Further, abusers groom and gaslight victims into thinking they caused their own abuse. They also target people at weak moments.
“False guilt almost always guarantees silence,” Lamb adds. “Additionally, the victim will spend years punishing themselves while the offender goes on their merry way committing the same offenses over and over and over.”
For most of us, guilt and shame require us to make amends. We’re not going to feel right until we apologize and make things right. The problem here, Lamb says, is that authentic penance is a crap story idea. “Great stories are all about messed up people making really bad decisions until the crucible of the story plucks their heads out of their metaphorical tail ends and gives them what they needed all along…enlightenment,” she writes. Humans need those kinds of stories so that we can see ourselves – even our worst aspects – reflected in fiction. Watching a character fail, grow, change, and emerge on the other side shows us a way that we can do the same.
“Regardless of what kind of stories you write, the purpose is always the same,” Lamb says. “Stories speak to the souls of the audience. They might not see ALL of themselves in the characters, but there should be at least enough that the reader (audience) is willing to endure the ride and all the trials and tribulations along the way.”
