In a post on Writers Helping Writers, Becca Puglisi says that what your characters don’t say can actually improve your dialogue. “The hard part of writing good dialogue is nailing the back-and-forth, the natural ebb and flow that turns dialogue into convincing conversation,” Puglisi says. “When a bit of dialogue falls flat or doesn’t ring true, it’s like an off-pitch violin sawing away in an otherwise harmonious orchestra.”
One way to make your dialogue seem more authentic is to show what your characters are hiding while they speak. “In the real world, we’re rarely 100% honest in our communications with others,” Puglisi writes. “It may not be conscious, but we’re always withholding something—hiding how we feel about a subject, suppressing information, agreeing with someone when in actuality we don’t agree with them at all.”
Your characters should do this, too. As you approach your scenes, ask what your characters want from each other and what they’re holding back. Is your character looking for connection or information? Do they want to give information or persuade someone to do something? Do they need someone to agree with them or do they want attention?
Once you know what they want, you can figure out what they hold back. In real life, we often hold back emotions. If we have romantic feelings for someone, we might not want to show that right away. If we’re sad or afraid, we try to hide it. We also hold back opinions, especially those that might cause conflict. If your character’s goal is connection or finding an ally, he or she might hold back their opinions, especially if they might be controversial.
Of course, your character’s traits are a major factor. We love to show off our strengths, but not our weaknesses. People don’t like to talk about their biases or unkindness, but we also avoid mentioning our positive values if someone we love doesn’t appreciate them. “It may not be a conscious decision, but we all highlight our admirable traits and hide the ones that make us look bad. The same should be true of our characters,” Puglisi says.
Finally, we tend not to let others know everything that we know. “Unlike some of the other things we might hide, this one is usually more purposeful,” Puglisi notes. “Our characters should play their cards close to the vest, not sharing information that could hurt them, make them feel uncomfortable, or impede their goals. Information is always currency; in dialogue, it should be doled out carefully and thoughtfully.”
