Her mom and dad have nothing but
Contempt for their imperfect genes.
They’ve spent a fortune, and for what?
A perfect child by other means:
We’ll call her Little Miss Potato Head.

Her DNA is clear and free
For plug-in features, what you will.
Her mom and dad requested she
Be beautiful to overkill,
And spur some wealthy bachelor to wed.

Miss Spud has more than looks galore
To make herself a millionaire.
They gave her plug-in talents for
To run like Babe and sing like Cher
And spot investment trends still miles ahead.

Miss Spud is born; her parents cling
To dreams of their own money tree.
Too late, they’ll find there’s no such thing
As plug-in love and loyalty.
There’s just a plug-in waving hand instead.

# # #

Little Miss Potato Head by Robert Laughlin
originally published in the Spring 2012 print edition